Pitch Meeting

I had some ideas. Let me know what you think.

A cooking or baking show where a couple of young hot white women introduce a new recipe each episode. They show all the ingredients on camera, with helpful onscreen instructions. Each episode lasts 22 minutes where they sit and drink at the table and tell funny stories about their lives while occasionally an old-fashioned oven “ding” sound announces the next step in the process and the cooking / baking continues. They display the finished meal or treat to the camera, then the camera follows them out back and into an alley where they just scrape the food into a neighbor’s trash can.

The Lincoln Log Batman Movie

McDonalds commercial – footage of slaughterhouse run-off and graphic forensics photos of that old lady’s legs after she got her skin burned off by a scalding hot cup of coffee. We see a single mother crying alone in her room because her kids keep telling her they’re scared she’ll catch the Virus and die if she keeps going to work. She tells them, “no baby. Mommy’s gonna be fine.” She looks into the camera: “I just never imagined that life could be this way.” It ends with a happy family pulling up to the drive-thru and a smiling employee handing them their food. Onscreen text: “You’re Worth It.” 

Complete dvd and blu ray box sets of local news broadcasts. Special features include full director and cast commentaries, animated menus, and Play-All options. 

“New People.” A play, an improv show, where there are three or four members of the troupe up on stage at a time. One by one, each member of the audience must get up and perform, each short sketch becoming more and more personal until the rotating cast and audience have lost any barriers and are all one, sharing their lives with each other, becoming truly and intimately together, a revolutionary act of theatre, it goes on for decades, they grow old and die together, their children continue the show, it’s the only life they’ve ever known, until the show itself is just a repeating pattern of experience with no influence by anything other than the world that exists within those four walls and up on that tiny stage, the audience still rapt after all these millennia, and one day one of them decides to open the front door, and look outside. Everything looks the same. No time has passed. What kind of society will grow from this new breed of human? Does time or work or productivity hold the same meaning for them? Do they even understand these archaic concepts? Where are they even going to sleep? How will they pay rent? They have no marketable skills. The speak a language resembling ours but it sounds… off, somehow. Softer. We can barely understand them. Who are they? Will they stay? Are these the old people, do we consider them our ancestors? They look just like us. Or are *we* the “old” version? Does it make a difference? I don’t think they recognize us. They look at us the way you might look at a rabid, angry dog. There’s something wrong with their eyes. How do we handle this? What do we do with all these new… people? Find out tonight on “New People!” 

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